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The Flick Chick's Video Clicks - Part III Movies are fun. They take us away. Need a good cry? Film provides it. Lonesome and blue? They make us feel all warm and mushy. Bored? They scare us, make our hearts beat faster. The right film has something for everyone — the right film, if you can find it. Thats the catch. Anxious now? Never fear. You've got a safari guide now. Ready? Excellent! Get your fills of chills, thrills, spills and forget your ills, and follow the Chick to the movies! flickchick@freelookbookstore.com

Master and Commander

       Naturally, if you've read eighteen Aubrey-Maturin books (yes, neophytes, there are eighteen of them!) you've already seen the film, you already have an opinion, and whatever the Chick says, you will agree or discount it, depending on whether you thought Russell Crowe was blonde enough, shrewd enough, nautical enough, musical enough (and so forth) and whether you thought Paul Bettany was sufficiently brilliant, sensitive, saturnine, silent, and noble. Personally, the Chick has always had a real weakness for the dark, sensitive & noble types, and she felt that Bettany was a bit too pretty, and that the Maturin part suffered from having the BIG STAR taking all the limelight in the Aubrey role. Also, she felt that the storyline of Master & Commander alone was more than sufficient to carry the film, and they didn't need to use up two books in one flick. Because if they take them two at a time, there will only be enough for NINE, which would be a tragedy.
       That being said, of course I loved it. Of course you should see it! (12/03)

On to the Video Store

Matrix II

     Sequels beware: one of the great laws of good writing is that you cannot use the same trick twice. And on that great law hangs the trouble with Anything II and Anything III. The rebooted Ver of this film contains lots of good old stuff and even some good new stuff — great to see Keanu again, looking serious and worried and stopping bullets, good to see Morpheous and Trinity and the Oracle again, clever to have a plethora of bad guy (note the singular noun). But the City was something of a disappointment, the orgy went on far too long, and the Man in the White Suit was a disaster of miscasting and bad writing. Yes, it's understood that Sean Connery can't take ALL those parts, and that since his death George Burns has been out of the Pictures, but surely, surely they could have found somebody more convincing than that!
     Nevertheless, the film is massively enjoyable when seen in the company of a family of ardent Matrix enthusiasts. See if you can arrange for your own viewing of it to be in such a group. It should improve your evening immensely!

Memento

     Innnnteresting! The Man With No Memory: What is he forgetting? How did he know that! What has he lost? What has he regained? What happened first? Was his wife really killed? And the clues tattooed on his body . . . are they all correct or all wrong?
     This excellent, tantalizing puzzle grows violent. It's not for the kids. But it's a definite treat for those of analytical mind. It kept me guessing and took most of the film before I felt I'd really picked up all the threads. And then — oops!
     Now that's what I like! (5/01)

M-II-B

      Really enjoyed it, didn't mind laughing at the same jokes again, had read all the grumpy reviews, went expecting very little, and was agreeably surprised. Of course, Tommy Lee Jones and Rip Torn are splendid, Will Smith's panache and versatility are amazing, and there is also the not-offensive appearance of wotzername in skimpy underwear. Those old in affection for ancient Space Opera will be tickled by the sight of all those BEMs gathered under one roof, though it's doubtful that so many of them would be so stupid. And the guy in the backpack a real hoot. Go. Enjoy. (7/8/02/02)

Minority Report

     Just saw it. Still stunned. This is a big one: Phillip K Dick storyline, Stephen Speilberg directing, and the star-power impact of Tom Cruise, who is finally learning to act. There are stunning SF stunts, a powerful supporting team (Max van Sydow, Collin Farrell, for starts), and some great spooky future-of-high-tech stuff — for example, holograms now work, only not very well. The ads follow you around, scanning your retinas, and speaking to you by name, reeling out your most recent buying history as they hardsell; cars run up and down the sides of buildings — their visual profile front-to-back from present-day cars, so they all looked as if they were going full-bore . . . backward!
      Best of all, it's got a strong, hot, mystery-laden plot, comparable in emotional punch to LA Confidential. Killer film. Do it. (7/1/02)
     SF Fans — don't listen to the snooty reviewers. You'll love it!

Miss Congeniality

      Hair in her eyes, falling upstairs and down, dressed in combat boots and with shirt-tail flying, do what she will, Sandra Bullock is charming. And there is no way Michael Caine can ever manage to be less than delightful. But it's a foolish, skimpy plot. The still-ravishing Candace Bergen is wasted. And Captain Kirk proves yet again that, much as we loved him aboard the Enterprise I, he shoulda stood in space. Yet with it all, it's a very pleasing, good-humored film, and when it appears on late-night TV, I'll be happy to watch it again! (12/00)

Monsters, Inc.

      Worn out by the daily grind? Glum over stock market fluctuations? Out of peace with yourself and the world? Well, have I got a solution for you! With voices supplied by Billy Crystal, John Goodman, et al, these monsters will help you forget your real-world troubles while you laugh, feel tender, and root for the goodguys against the bad guys just the way we always did in days of yore!
      Yes, it's a reeeeeeeeeeeeeel winner. Not only was its lavish humor unsullied by mean jokes or bathroom jokes, not only were there great furry and slithery and weird monsters, not only was the cute stuff genuinely cute without ever being cloying, not only was there a thrilling chase (well motivated and not composed of standard interchangeable chase-parts), there was much, much more! Amazingly, the film also had an interesting plot full of suspense and pathos and a satisfying ending that was not instantly predictable. Each monster displayed a well-formed personality that relied on behavior and attitudes as well as his or her monstrousness. (Although there was plenty of monstrousness to go around. The tentacled Girlfriend Monster who had snakes for hair, for example, sported cute little rattlesnake rattles like kiss-curls at her temples, and when she got mad, not only did the snakes hiss, the rattles rattled! Hey, I've known people like that!)
      In short, not to weary you with superlatives, don't let this eighteen-gold-star flicker pass you by.
      Oh, and one more thing: make sure you stay for the credits. They are livened by wall-to-wall Jackie-Chan-style outtakes that had me haw-hawing so hard that my film companions ended up laughing at me! (12/16)

Shreck

     This is not an afterthought, I just didn't see it until it was on tape. Enjoyed it very much. Charming characters and a charming concept. Have to say I liked Monsters's Inc., better still, but that may have been because of the dif between a tape in the living room, and a full-screen film in a theater. Anyway, it was a first-rate film, and good fun for grown-ups, too! If you haven't seen it, rent and watch it with or without the kids. (2/02)

Monsters Ball

     This is a hard film to watch. Billy Bob Thornton's tortured tough guy, Peter Boyle's grim mind-of-stone father, and Hallie Berry's toothsome, desperate heroine entwine within a dark story of guilt, passion, mixed motives, and ambivalent redemption. Brilliantly written, splendidly performed, and convincingly produced, this is a real master work. But it's not easy, and it's not for the faint of heart.(3/14/02)

The Mummy

      And if you've never seen it, you could rent worse. It's a poor-man's Indiana Jones, only much sappier and with less ingenuity. Nevertheless it has charm, chiefly because it stars Brendan Fraser. After various forgettable kidpix roles and one delightful one — George, in George of the Jungle, was a large photo credit in my book — he gave us a bit of really memorable acting in Gods and Monsters. (That was a well-received and seriously snooty-art film, for those illiterates who see only kidpix & BadFearFlicks.)
      Been a while since I saw Gods&M but it is my recollection that the dumb-but-beautiful blue-collar character Fraser plays is asked to take off his shirt, and as he starts to do so, he hesitates because he is . . . embarrassed. And that little fragment was masterful! For one moment, the editor that sits in the back of my brain, constantly reminding me that I'm watching a film, was caught off guard. And what I saw was someone who was actually squirmingly, unforgettably embarrassed! Years later, that sweet film moment is still with me. Thank you, Mr. Fraser, I hope you grow up to be Harrison Ford! (9/00)
        (10/01)  Having seen a plethora of teasers for the — Heaven preserve us! — sequel, I can only say that it sounded horrendous, and I waited for the video. Which has now been out for some time. A review will be coming when I feel strong enough to watch it! (Not necessarily soon. Not necessarily ever.) Whatever Mr. Fraser's other talents, he sure don't know how to pick 'em! My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding Now just why would a tall, cute, smart, capable young man throw away his whole previous life and make an idiot of himself and live next door to his eccentric and opinionated in-laws for the sake of a woman who was not particularly charming or clever and was not even especially good looking? Only Hollywood has the answer. (The envelope, please . . . . Thank you.) And the answer to that mystery is that they needed another female chauvinist hit, that's why. Consider: if she had been the sweet, sensitive one who had to change her religion, make herself the butt of his brothers' and sisters' jokes, be sneered at by her lover's father, and live next door to her husband's parents — would we have been up in arms, or wouldn't we? This is not about the Greeks. Greeks are great people. They invented the theater, wooden horses, democracy, philosophy, and olive oil, and long may they wave. But friends, this is nothing but a trash-the-guy flick. Some people seem to think that bad sass for the goose is bad sass for the gander too. But fair is fair. Comprende? (8/1/02)

Mystic River

       Oh, dark, dark, dark . . .this is a really dark film. Sean Penn is great — if a little heavy. Kevin Bacon is great, if a little chill. Tim Robbins is just great! Marcia Gay Hardin, does an excellent job. By now you know the story line. Great performances. Worth seeing. But it's mighty, mighty dark.(12/03)

Night of the Vampire

     Whoa! This one is way out! Malkovich is wierdly smashing, as always. And am I the only one who think he looks like Lawrence Olivier? — I mean when he was the same age.
     For those who have not seen it, but who are considering it, be aware that the plot and its very eerie vampire have nothing to do with the "real" Nosferatu movie, as the original Klaus Kinski version did not feature a real vampire. And to be honest, I thought Kinski was the creepier of those two similar-appearing ghouls. But it was a fun turn . . . if you happen to enjoy that sort of thing, which I do. (6/01)

O Brother Where Art Thou?

      So: okay to miss "Chocolat" but don't miss "O Brother Where Art Thou!" The weird and wonderful Cohen brothers strike again, and they've hit it out of the ball park this time! I have always made a point of not seeing movies that featured George Clooney but no more! He gets top marks for this one in charm, chutzpah, and general adorability. And the wild and grungy cuties who are in it with him (notably John Turturro!) — well! Loved them, loved the theme, loved the humor, loved the costumes, loved it all. No description of the story line could do it justice (or even encourage you to see it). But take it from the Flick-Chick: this is a seventeen- or eighteen-star film! (03/01)

Ocean's Eleven

     Fun & games, boys & girls. If you saw the old Ocean's Eleven, don't worry about it. The only thing these films have in common is the name, a Las Vegas setting, and the quantity of cool star-dudes in the cast. But it oozes charm, the puzzle features marvelous acrobatics, both physical and mental, and the sappy obligatory romance is blessedly brief.
     The most fun of all, however, lies in seeing how much all these dazzling luminaries are enjoying themselves. There's George Clooney batting his big browns with winsome insincerity. There's Brad Pitt, no longer in the desperate earnest of last week's Spy Game and now the picture of lazy elegance. (He looks suave, eats sloppy, and responds to questions in Chinese (and in Chinese) without breaking stride.) Here's Andy Garcia, all blued steel as the impossibly impeccable Casino owner. And Elliot Gould, grinning like a bansheee as he reels off Jewish mobster lingo. There's Matt Damon, looking mildly outclassed, accompanied by a younger — but also cute — Affleck brother and a hulking Caan. The immortal Don Cheadle is done up in Cockney, of all things! Hey, I can't even carp at having to root for the safe-breakers, because the joint taking the hit is even more reprehensible than the perps!
      But greatest treat of all — Mirabile dictu! — was in seeing the magnificent Carl Reiner at work again! Ah, the great days are not quite gone! (12/01)

Once Upon A Time in Mexico

       If it were necessary to give a one-word review of this film, that word would be Excess! An excess of violence. An excess of romanticism. An excess of smoldering looks from the still-handsome-but-now-less-so Antonio Banderas. Possibly even an excess of betrayals. All this was predictable to one who had seen the previous two films in this series. The only thing. perhaps, that that was not predictable and that there was not too much of was the entirely-over-the-top-of-the-top performance by the (again!) wonderful, splendid, and eccentric Johnny Depp! Oh yeah, bigger budget, but same brooding music, same unkempt guitar, same noble Antonio, same evil henchpersons, but with one hugely satisfying diff — Depp is never the same, never boring, and never like anything he has been before!
       So . . . definitely okay see if you liked the earlier films in this series. And definitely okay to see if your spirit is enlarged by admiring several beautiful (and several ugly) hunky guys. But if you're turned on by radically different, exciting, inspired character acting by the truly talented and beautiful-to-look-at Johnny Depp — DEFINITELY — here's one for you, Babe! (9/28/03)

One Hour Photo

     Robin Williams' eerie, slow, frequently silent performance was like something out of a French film noire. Except that it different in a great many ways. And it was not visually dark. Williams is splendid. The climax is satisfying. But it's really, really depressing. So if you plan to see it after a bad day . . . think twice. (10/3/02)

Insomnia

And while on the subject of Robin Williams, let's add that the video of this interesting film is also available. If you did not catch it in a theater, it's worth your evening to see it now. Although the picture belongs to Al Pacino's hooded exhaustion, it is the struggle between his and Williams' characters that makes the film what it is. Like so many recent cop-films, the narrative is dark and internal — intent on resolving the moral conflicts of the two main characters — rather than centering on the solution of a plot-story. No question that Pacino is a masterful actor. No question that Robin Williams is a powerful character actor, even though he made his name first in silly comedies and still plays the clown far too often.

One Night at Mc'Cools

      Y'know . . . I don't quite know what to tell you about this. Billed as film noire, it's about as noire as you get, American style! This is not a socially acceptable film, and on that level I guess I disapprove of it — it is to gratuitous sex and violence what movie popcorn is to cholesterol! That said, I have to admit that it's comic book sex and comic book violence, and that I laughed myself silly!
     The all-stars did a good job: Liv Taylor was acceptably bodacious (Jozie tells me some gentlemen of her acquaintance found her more than acceptable), Matt Dillon was charmingly dumb-but-beautiful, John Goodman hugely, loweringly funny, and Paul Reiser hilariously, neurotically kinky, but I have to give the topmost tarnished star to Michael Douglas's perfectly-turned sleazeball. (And you know how I feel about Michael Douglas!) One question: was that or was that not an uncredited Andrew Dyce Clay playing the twins?
      See it at your own risk — and don't say I didn't warn you! (5/01)

The Others

      In a word, spooky. There's loads of mist, moors, dark rooms, mysterious servants, and inexplicable sounds, plus plenty of weird behavior, especially on the part of an uptight Nicole Kidman in a very attractive 1945 wig, as she forces her small children to read the Bible aloud for days on end without stopping — except for the occasional sighting of one or more mysterious vanishing strangers. (She, by the way, is now so verrrry thin that she looks like a wraith herself. Does the woman live on nothing but water and vitamin pills?)
      Of course, I admit that my heightened Chick sensibilities allowed me to foresee the ending sting long before it arrived, but the rattles and screams made me jump right along with the rest of the Friday night crowd. Overall, it was a nice scary ghost story, suitable for all us campers around the fire that night. Good end-of-summer fare.
      One thing, though: why did she get so upset with the grand piano began playing itself? Me, I want one — save me a bundle on classical DVDs! (8/01)

The Patriot

      The verdict on this one depends on how well you love Mel Gibson. The storyline is loosely based on the war career of Marion the Swamp Fox, only without mosquitoes. Incidental plot bits were sort of slung in for convenience. I can see the story conference now:

      "Man, we need to sauce this stuff up somehow. Let's put his kids in danger."
      "Okay — how 'bout the Brits burn down his house?"
      "Yeah! And since we need to give that girlfriend more scene-time, we can have the kids go to the girlfriend's and then the Brits'll burn down her house, too."
      "Yeah! Say, later on, when Mel & the girl start smooching, the art directors want to have a nice ocean in the bg. Think we can work that in some way? Some kinda sunset-over-the-sea?"
      "Sure, the chick and the kids can take refuge in somebody's seashore hideaway."
      "Hold on, I just thought of something — South Carolina? Those guys all had slaves, didn't they? We can't have Mel owning slaves!"
      "No problem, somebody can just casually mention that they're all free — sort of friends&employees-like!"
      "Way to go, Great One!"   

      Yeah. Way to go.
      Although it's exciting enough, the film's historical accuracy is less than so-so. One of our Denver correspondents, 11-year-old Andrea Brown, has pointed out a few anomalies. Her mother notes that: "Andrea . . . loves that time period. [But] She said that the soldiers couldn't shoot with bayonets in their guns. She also said that they added the bayonets after they were finished shooting and ready for close combat. I don't know if this is right, but she said that they didn't have a national flag until closer to the end of the war — that the militia would have had a South Carolina flag, something more local. They studied the Revolutionary War last year. She liked the film, though."
      In closing, I must mention that the Friday night audience I was part of loved every minute of this very long picture. It was really touching the way everyone applauded every time us Rebs took coup! And guess what? We win! (9/00)

Pay It Forward

      Doubtless, you've read all those one- and two-star reviews of that film with Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt, and the cute little kid who was in "Sixth Sense". Well, never mind the buzz, it's a three-handkerchief picture that most people seem to have enjoyed rather a lot. True, its cop-out ending shamelessly jerks your heartstrings, and everything in the film telegraphs exactly what's coming next. But Spacey's performance was believable and genuinely touching, and both Hunt and the kid were excellent. Overall, viewing this film was an odd experience: The editor in my head was raving about the kitschy content and all the cheap shots, while my emotions went right ahead and got blown away! (10/00)

Pearl Harbor

     Do you remember Pearl Harbor? Were you there? What was it like?
     Yes, Dearie, I remember it well. Ah, we were all so young then, and we were — how can I explain it — we were so noble, all of us. We cared about the real things. Like flying. And keeping ourselves Pure. And Loyalty. Maybe we posed a little, when we were far from home, and lonely, and expecting to die. But if we did, well, that was part of it. Because it was true; a lot of us did die.
     You see, we were real people then, just as you are now. We bled real, red blood, not manufactured gore. And whether the stories we tell about it cast light on the recollection of those times, or whether they cast a little veil across the worst of those times . . . they stay with us. We remember them. (6/01)

-->Pirates of the Caribbean

       O-kay . . . there have been jillions of films (good and bad) based on books — from Jane Eyre and The Wizard of Oz to The Shipping News and Ironweed. And recently there have been numerous films based on comic books — Spider Man to name but one. There was once a film about getting lost in a video game (Tron) and there have been quite a few based on video games, such as the upcoming Tomb Raider biggie. But I think what we have here is a real first — a flicker based on a theme part ride!
       And with that in mind, the Disney folks should get down on their kneebones and thank their lucky stars that Johnny Depp is as clever, and innovative, and adorable, and wierd as he is!
       Tour de force — you know what that means? Show of strength. True, Orlando Bloom is cute and Geoffrey Rush does a good job, but nothing in this world could have turned this very puny concept into the utterly delightful entertainment it is except the star-strength of Depp's talent and his drunken-appearing, amazingly decked-out charm. Wow!
       The Chick advises you to expect nothing. And everything. And that the cost of your ticket is money well-spent! (7/2003)