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Letter: 16

May 15 1995

      DEAR KIDS: One thing I have been trying to do is to give you some feeling of how different times were when I was a kid and to give you an idea of small town life. Unlike cities almost everyone in Blunt knew everyone else including the farmers who lived near the town. The principal recreation was visiting. Some people sat on their front porches in good weather and passersby would stop and visit. We had some very good people and some ne'er-do-wells and some eccentrics who made for interesting conversation. The town was so small that you could walk to work and most did.

      In thinking of something to write you about, I thought of some of the town characters in Blunt. Blunt was not much of a town — maybe village or hamlet would be a more accurate description. There was very little to do in a place like Blunt but on Saturday night a lot of people would go to the business section and park on Main Street. Some just sat in their cars. People would stop by and visit with anyone sitting in a car. The stores stayed open late and last minute grocery shopping could be done.

      During the day on Saturdays the farmers came into town and made the rounds, getting farm machinery repairs done and shopping and visiting. One farmer, Jake Krell came in to my dad's shop every Saturday and almost every Saturday told the same dirty joke. Then he laughed at his joke harder than anyone else. He laughed while inhaling and it sounded like "eeez, eeez, eeez."He never remembered that he told the same joke before. We laughed at his laugh as much as for the joke.

      I told you about Emil Hansen, the little man with the low guttural voice who drove the stage up to Fairbank. After he retired he would go over to the pool hall and sit watching the men play pool. At night he went to sleep and then someone would bump his head on purpose. He wouldn't even open up his eyes but he would say, "Show me the man who did that and I'll fight him no matter who he is bar none."In the daytime Emil would play a four handed game — whist I think it was — where all the cards were dealt out. Emil didn't even bother to arrange them by suit like everybody else did, but he was a whiz at whist and never misplayed a card.

      One character was John Rostencap. John was a farmer who lived in town and farmed. If he got a good crop he spent the money on a new car and then when crops were bad he had a hard time. John had a habit of scratching himself in public usually on a very private part. One time when I was back there I stopped in to the post office to visit with Ann Kjer who worked in the P.O. I looked out and saw John Rostencap. I said to Ann, "There's John Rostencap"and about that time he simultaneously scratched his privates front and back with both hands.

      Anne said, "That's John all right."

      Another pastime was to go to the barber whether you needed a haircut or not. When you needed a haircut, you didn't mind waiting for your turn because you could visit with the others. Barbers in those days were very good at small talk. On more than one occasion I heard the following start of a conversation between Pierre Byrum and Halver Tennyson, the barber.

      "How are you doing Pierre?"

      Pierre's reply, "Just existing. You know the difference between existing and living, don't you Tenny?”

      "Yeah, I know the difference."

      The barber, being an expert at small talk, knew how to keep the conversation going asked, "Besides just existing, what else are you doing?' Pierre was a farmer so he proceeded to tell how hard he had been working.

      Another character was old man Bronson. He was a widower for several years. He was one of the old widowers that my mother had me deliver pies to on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Bronson lived in the Mentor Graham house. Mentor Graham had moved out to South Dakota and settled in Blunt because at the time the railroad stopped there. He was famous because he had taught Abraham Lincoln. Mentor Graham had died many years before and Bronson was occupying the house.

      Bronson had an organ in the house and he also had a pretty good violin but the peculiar thing was that he was completely tone deaf and couldn't play any kind of a tune. My friend., Bill Frazier, and I would stop in to see the old man on our way to Bill's house. Bill would suggest that they entertain me with some music. Bronson would get out the violin and Bill would go over to the organ. Now Bill was musical. He could play saxophone and clarinet but he didn't do anything but pound on the organ keys while he pumped it. Old man Bronson would saw on the violin frantically and when Bill thought the rendition should end he would hold up his left hand and play one final chord and the "music" would stop. I would clap enthusiastically and congratulate them and tell them how great it was. Bronson would laugh with delight and say, "It was pretty good wasn't it?"There was no resemblance to music.

      We had another character. He was Charlie Hesses wife's uncle. His first name was James but he abbreviated it Jas so Charlie's small kids called him Uncle Jass. Uncle Jass said he was a professor of pantheology. There is no such word but he said he was an expert on all religions. He would sometimes announce that he would give a lecture on religion "next Saturday night."When there was a crowd of people on Main Street, he would drive his Model T Ford and park it near the crowd and give a lecture on the street. He didn't have a box on the Ford like pickups do but a box kind of square a little bigger than a trunk. He would stand on the flat top of the box and harangue the crowd. His talk was nonsense but the crowd thought it was entertaining.

      Another character was Doc Vandercook. He was called "Doc" because he was an expert at castrating sheep. Doc like to drink some booze but we still had prohibition. Doc got himself elected to the school board. In those days anyone who was a member of the school board was not supposed to drink any booze. I was in the barber shop and the barber, Halver Tennyson, asked Doc if he would like a drink. "I have a bottle of Canadian Whiskey in the back room. It's good stuff. Would you like a drink, Doc?”

      I was sitting, in the barber chair and Doc knew that my dad was a teetotaller (Pa was president of the school board), and he said, "Why Tenny, you know I don't drink."He thought I would mention it to my dad and Doc's respectability would be compromised. I knew that after I left Doc would go into the back room and have a good swig.

      The next time I was in the barber shop and Doc was there and Tenny offered him a drink. I was waiting for my turn to get my hair cut. Doc again protested that he didn't drink and I spoke up, "Doc, we are out to have repeal and everybody who drinks can drink legally. Why don't you have the drink. I won't tell my dad."I was a smart-ass kid sometimes. I was about 15, I think.

      "You're all right. I guess I will." I thought the damned hypocrite should have his drink. During those days respectable people thought it was a disgrace to drink. It was damned foolish unless you knew that you weren't getting wood alcohol. The bootleggers weren't particular about what they sold.

      Jake Krell had an old maid sister Daisy. She lived with their mother in town. Jake lived on the farm. Mrs. Krell was always trying to get Daisy married off. On several occasions I heard (as did many other people) Mrs. Krell tout Daisy. "Daisy's a fine girl. She would make some man a fine wife,"she would say and of course she didn't have a chance of getting her married off. I think Daisy died an old maid.

      Nell Summers was quite wacky. Ben Summers, her husband, was all right mentally but being a good man didn't shuck her off. Ben bought junk and scrap iron to make a living. Nell had a cat named Dewey. When she wanted to feed the cat she would call, "Dewey, Dewey, Dewey" and the cat would come. She would go absolutely bonkers when the kids would mock her and call out "Dewey, Dewey, Dewey" when they saw her. One time my brother Hap and Ray Stevens were up high on a scaffolding painting the front of the hardware store. Ray spotted Nell on the street and called out "Dewey, Dewey, Dewey,"to mimic her. Her reply was, "I hope you fall off and break your damned neck!"

      Nell lived only a block from our house and one time when I had been sick she came up to inquire how I was getting along. It was on a Saturday and Mom told her that she thought I could get up that day. "Oh no. Don't let him get up on Saturday, he'll have a bad setback and will really be sick."Mom told her that she would let me get up on Sunday, but as soon as Nell was gone I got up and had no setback.

      We had a family of Gunsaluses. They were descended from some Spanish pirates. Back in the days when England and Spain were at war, their ancestors got into trouble with the King of Spain and so they free-booted (looted Spanish ships — which was piracy) and settled in England. Since they were on the outs with Spain they were welcome in England. Now their real family name was Gonzalez but the English mispronounced and it got pronounced "gun-say-lus”. When they emigrated to the U.S., the immigration official spelled it like it was pronounced. By that time they weren't even pronouncing their name correctly

      Old Frank Gunsalus acquired a big spread of land that had never been farmed before — had only grass. He broke the land and planted a huge crop of flax. Flax is a very chancy crop, but the land was fertile and the weather that year was good. If you got a flax crop, the price was always good. Frank made a fortune on that one flax crop. He set up his sons each on farms but he never could get a flax crop again.

      We always think of Spanish people as having dark hair and dark eyes. Some of the Gunsaluses were blond. Rumor was that they were Basques. The Basques want independence from Spain and many are light. We thought they were Spaniards anyway.

      The whole gist of this stuff is to show that we had things that were comical and some interesting. Even a small town has some interesting people. A fellow named Hyatt Downing grew up and became a quite well known short story writer and even had a serial novel appear in one of the "slicks”. Mom read it, and when he was on one of his visits to Blunt and she asked him why did he kill off the hero in his novel. "I didn't know what else to do with him,"was his reply.

      You kids are accustomed to phones with touch tones and even cordless phones. When I was a kid we had a phone on the wall. It had a mouthpiece to talk into and a receiver that hung on the side of the phone. If you wanted to make a call, you would spin a crank and "Central" would say, "Number please" and you gave her the number. We didn't call her operator. We had a party line that included the hardware store, our house, the Gus Howards' house, and the meat market. If someone wanted us they cranked two short rings. The other rings were a short and long ring and another was a long and a short and another two longs.

      One Saturday afternoon I was in the store and answered the phone. It was Mrs. Charlie Johnson. She wanted to have her husband call her at the farm. The Johnsons were fine respected farmers but that didn't help her telephone technique. She kept asking me if Charlie Johnson was there but I couldn't make out who she was asking for. It sounded like: "Is Zwowie Zongzun there?"I made her repeat it several times and Vid Allison, the Central, said in a very clear voice "She wants to know if Charlie Johnson is there.”

      "Oh, it's Mrs. Johnson,"I said. "I'll find him and have him call you."The main part of Blunt's business section was a little more than a block long. I went to one grocery store, the post office, and then found him in the second grocery store. She had forgotten to write something on the list she had given him and needed to have him call her. I had no trouble finding him. How would you like to try to find someone in the Brea Mall?

      I had an occasion to talk to Vid and I asked her how she could understand what Mrs. Charlie Johnson was saying. She told me that she had been interpreting for Mrs. Johnson for years.

      Some of the farmers had party lines and if you made a call to one of them all the farmers on the line heard it ring. Sometimes they all listened in to eavesdrop on the conversation instead of only answering when it was their code. My brother-in-law, Emerald Reinecke, and Elaine were on a party line. One time when all the eavesdroppers were listening in on the line it made the signal too weak to hear well. Emerald in his loud booming voice asked every one but the party he was trying to talk to to hang up. He was quite forceful about it.

      We had a pretty nice rain last night. You know that it's not supposed to rain in California but it did anyway.

      I fertilized my back yard about April 1 and again about May 5. It's now growing so fast that I almost think I made a mistake. I have a power mower, but it is not self-propelled — the pushing gives me some exercise.

      Scari has been jumping up and grabbing branches and tearing them off the plum trees and the nectarine tree. It makes Grandma very perturbed. Each one of Craig's dogs have had different destructive habits.

      Saturday Grandma had a dentist appointment for some further work on her root canal. I think she loves to have root canals.

      Craig has been working quite steady for the last five weeks. He has had a couple of days off. He will be hanging a couple of doors, installing a gas oven, and you can tell your mother that he will be doing some work for Jan this week.

      This gabby old man will sign off now. I love you kids more than you know.

      Grandpa

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