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The Flick Chick: Films with titles beginning with "C" and "D" Bad films go stale, but the pleasures of good films never end. They stickify your memory like the reminders of a jam and honey sandwich. They adhere to the roof of your mind like peanut butter. Second helpings via video can be twice (or half) as satisfying as you hoped. And in among the broken crackers and cheese rinds of aged titles on TV, we sometimes discover the unexpected petit four. So here they are: the good dinners kept warm, the delicious last dollop of ice cream from the freezer . . . and a few cold leftovers. Yum!

Calendar Girls

       It's hard to express how satisfying it is to see a film so richly conceived and so tenderly made. Whereas the heavily advertised Something's Gotta Give ridiculed vulnerability and affection and ladled out ersatz feeling and a corn-syrupy happy ending, Calendar Girls, — though it offers plenty of broad humor — treats love and grief (and embarassment) with genuine respect.
       The film is reputedly based on a true story of how a dozen mature-and-then-some Yorkshire women created a "girlie" calender in which they bared (almost) all to the eye, in order to earn money for a local hospital in which the beloved husband of one of them had died. And earn it they did, together with international celebrity! Although the film casts an amused and sympathetic eye on their quailing approach to the camera, unlike The Full Monty their Moment of Truth is not the whole point, or even the high point of the film. Indeed it is almost incidental to the baseline story of affectionate loyalty and friendship.
       Headed by the superb, beautiful (and not-so-young) Helen Mirren, every member of the cast is memorable, all the women and their various husbands and children as well. Their troubles are real troubles, their activities are real activities, and their solutions real solutions. Bravo!
        This film will stay with you. It nourishes hope. And it's not just some chick-flick, guys. Those old broads look darn good, by golly! (3/04)

Cast Away - *****

      A film so well-acted that it defies description. Cast Away missed the Big Award, but pretty much all the good things said about this film are true. Tthough it's a bit late for this advice, try not to read too many reviews before you see it — knowing too much beforehand may take the edge off your enjoyment of Hanks' (and Hunt's) excellent performances. (1/01)

The Cat's Meow

     Sure, it's been out a while, but sometimes even the Chick slows down. Despite Peter Bognanovich's big rep, this is not a dazzling film, but it's fun for us movie buffs. It's really doubtful that William Randolph Hearst actually shot Thomas Ince, but Edward Herrmann was convincingly besotted with Kirsten Dunst (as Marion Davies), who looked 95% better than she did recently in Spider-Man — and almost as cute as she looked in Interview With The Vampire all those years ago. (How come she's grown up now and Tom Cruise is still a kid, hmmm?) Eddie Izzard, who played Chaplin, did not do any Chaplinesque acrobatics, such as the Little Tramp was reputed to perform on all occasions, but the real surprise was the hitherto fatally attractive Cary Elwes (Princess Bride?) playing the mean guy. Oh, the heart is broken! (7/9/02/02)

Chicago

     Well, that toddlin' film won a lot of awards. I do think the Zeta-Jones' hoofin' legs were worth every Oscar in the lot. And Queen Latifa's an absolute crackerjack. (Wotta solo song!) But much as I like the Rene' — and willing as I am to add that any chance to look at Richard Gere's male beauty is welcome — and although it was an amusing film, with some sparkle and a workmanlike try at a plot, hmmm . . . stellar? Sorry. Not.

Chocolat

      Sorry romance fans, but I thought it was punko. And as unconvincing to me as the book, although in a different way. I do believe in the struggle between good and evil . . . and I like stories about magic, as stories, but neither the GvE nor the enchantment jelled for me. Wonder whether I would have liked the film better if I hadn't read the book?
     Saving graces: The gorgeous Juliette Binoche, who makes looking like an adult look really good. Judi Dench. The cinematography and the French countryside. But the real pleasure came in sitting there and looking at Johnny Depp — who is as beautiful as Brad Pitt any day, and with a countenance far more expressive of thought and pain.

Closer

          Are The Beautiful People of the world really more cruel, more deceitful, more likely to cheat on the people who love them? Do they have more trouble with their love affairs than normal people like you and me? (Okay, maybe normal is too strong a word, but . . .whatever.) The gorgeous Jude Law, the ravishing Natalie Portman, the star-person Julia Roberts, and the not-to-be-forgotten Clive Owen try to get us to believe that an obituary writer, a stripper, a photographer, and an MD can fall madly in love, betray, double-cross, wound each other, and engage in stellar lovemaking while continuing to be lovable, beautiful, and breathtakingly desirable. Well maybe. But you try those shenannigans on this woman, Buster, and you won't find me getting any Closer.
           Of course, I'm not Natalie Portman or Julia Roberts. Maybe they're used to it. But I'm not. And I don't plan to be.
           Not impressed. Just depressed. (12/04) (03/01)

Cold Mountain

       Did you read the book? Great book. And the film closely follows the storyline, though the war scenes are much more graphically depicted. (After a lifetime of horror-packed war movies, I feel like a battle-hardened veteran: WW-II, Nam, WW-I, the War of 1812, the Alamo, the Battle of the Roses, Star Wars, the Pelopennesian War, the Battle of Hastings, Troy, the Cold, and now again the Civil . . . I've about supped full of horrors — yeah, Will Shkspr.)
       Jude Law is one of the most gorgeous men in film today, rivaling even the hitherto unrivaled Daniel Day Lewis, and Nicole Kidman was breathtakingly lovely, so we could be in no doubt as to why those two might fall in love with each other . . . but one wonders whether that overpowering combination of beauties is truly in the best interest of the story. Although it is a given that the requirements of film and literature differ, it was the dogged, desperate attachment of the lonely literary characters, clinging to their love like a life-raft in the face of their raging seas of difficulties that stirred this reader. Film viewers, more likely may believe that the lovers had been beguiled by the considerable pleasures that met their eyes, rather than a blind hunger for love's light in the darkness.
       Oops! A little too poetic there, maybe. Sorry about that.
       Anyhoo, it was a compelling film, very dark (lotsa dark films this season), and pretty sad. If the holidays have depressed you, maybe you should go back to work before seeing this one. But do, indeed, see it. It's a fine film.(12/03)

The Corpse Bride (anime')

           In brief, a neurotically timid Victorian hero (Victor) is to marry astonishingly sheltered Sweet Young Thing (Victoria). As Victor is too nervous to master his lines for the ceremony, he goes off into the woods to practice. Once there, he inadvertantly drops the ring on the the skeletal fingers of the sexy corpse of an abandoned bride (stay with me here, because there's more of this) who claims him as her own and drags him underground to the Land of the Dead, where they are serenaded by more corpses in varying degrees of disintegration. Oh, did I mention that this is sort of a musical? And although the singing skeletons were very much like the singing skeletons in Betty-Boop-era cartoons, the music is rather pleasant, otherwise.
           Meanwhile, a nefarious wrongdoer (who is, concidentally, the same wrongdoer who wrongdid the Corpse Bride when she was alive) steps in to announce that Victor is both absent and unfaithful. He claims the hand of the Sweet Thing, her parents accept him, and they are married. Much action ensues, together with some very cute and touching meetings between the various corpses and their still-living ancient sweethearts. True love is served. Bad guys are vanquished, and everybody is presumed to live (or stay dead, maybe) Happily Ever After.
          This makes for a silly, pleasant evening of cotton candy. Very Charles Adams-type visuals, but quirky and interesting. (It's an anime, in case you didn't see the teasers.) Let me add that Johnny Depp did the voiceover for the hero, so that give you an idea of the budget, the quality, and the character of the film. Enjoy! (9/05)

Constantine

           Bet I know exactly how it went: His agent called him up and said:
            So listen Keeno-baby, you gotta do this film. It's right up your alley — you're this noble stranger, see, in black clothes, and you got mysterious powers that nobody knows about or understands, and you're in contact with other people who know deep, dark stuff. Real nuh-war, stuff, like you been doing. Your fans will eat it up, and it'll make mint!
            Yeah, sure, but this is different nuh-war! It's religious. Nope — real religion, I swear it, and the producer says it's full of real hot special effects. Yeah, trust me, really hot specials! And at the end, when you go save the girl, you get to blow away a whole buncha real bad guys with this swell, wierd gun — so, come on! You owe this to your fans, man. Otherwise, you're gonna donate your mindshare to some other dude. Because it's been a while, y'know? And it'll be good bucks, maybe a piece of the action, if we negotiate it right — I tell you, it'll be . . . what? You will? Really? Great! If I do what? You want me to . . . oh, sure. I'll hang up now. Right away — but hey, one more thing . . . Keeno? Keeno? Gee, must of lost his signal."
             So there we were, and the film was over. My friend and I usually sit through the credits, letting the crowd get out ahead of us, but this time they emptied out before the assistant grips and prop lists were done rolling. When there was only one other person left in the theater, and we were still there, she spoke to us.
             "If you wait till this is all over," she said, "There's something more, right at the end that's really nice."
             So we waited. And it was nice. Maybe the nicest bit of all. Thanks, Jesseka, If it had not been for you, we would have missed it! We're grateful; you gave us good advice, which is always hard to come by. Pity Keano didn't have you for an agent. He could have used some better advice.(3/05)

The Conversation

     Some joys never grow old; the measured artistry of Gene Hackman is one of them. Hackman's wonderfully controlled performance is only one of the pleasures of this splendid 1974 film noire. And as if his accomplished presence were not enough, a startled double-take reveals that one of the antagonists, amazingly, is a juvenile, bland-faced Harrison Ford! Need more? Try the almost-silent brooding presence of young Robert Duval!
     Despite the fact that all the surveillance tools and techniques — crucial plot hinges — are more than 25 years dead and gone, the story is so beautifully written and so splendidly directed that it could open tomorrow to rave reviews. Guess that's what happens when you let Francis Ford Coppola direct a film.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

      Okay: it was a ninja movie.
      It was also gorgeous to look at. The characters were gorgeous, the costumes, the landscape, the closeups, the staging, the wirework, the props — everything: A feast for the eyes. There was more subtlety and character development than I have ever seen in any film of this kind. (But remember, it's a ninja movie.)
      Stars, Chow Yun Fat (the only member of the cast really familiar to me), Michelle Yeoh, Zhang Ziyi, Chang Chen, and Cheng Pei Pei were all effective. Example: the scene in which the ninja master and the powerful-young-woman-ninja-student are standing in the treetops, supported only by leaves, air, and their powerful wills. She snarls at him, "What do you want of me!" Chow Yun Fat reaches softly forward and answers, "To teach you," and touches her forehead — the moment was so beautiful, and he was so beautiful that I actually caught my breath! And when the woman-ninja master forgives the young-woman-ninja-student, it was as gentle and moving a moment as anyone could ask for in any film of any kind. The character of the woman was especially well-rounded. She comes across as a real human person.
      Nevertheless, Oscars notwithstanding, it was a ninja movie from front to back, and you have to be able to tolerate that in order to love this perfectly beautiful film! (2/01)

Curse of the Jade Scorpion

      Yes, Fans! This is what a Woody Allen film is supposed to be like. It's the best since "Everybody Says I Love You" — funny, witty, charming, and even tender in spots. The Woodman has put rubber to the road this time.
     I also appreciate his giving himself a sympathetic part, because really, after all these years it's an insult to our intelligence for him to pretend to be anything other than the elegant sharpshooter he obviously is. Allen and the lovely-and-talented Helen Hunt trade insults and lightning wisecrackers, the funny stuff is Marx Brothers quality, and pretty nearly every loose end gets tucked neatly into place by the end of the film. (Except for the silent brunette accomplice. Who IS she? And hmmm, I don't think girls began wearing tight, short-sleeved sweaters until those Betty Grable's pinups in the 'forties.)
      I'd also like to add a personal thank you for the great pleasure it gives this Chick to see Dan Aykroyd get a serious smooch of his own. (And you, Woodman. Yes, and you too!) Thank you also for giving us the opportunity to bask in the beaming benevolence of Wallace Shawn's wonderful smile. And vicariously enjoy the warm loyalty and good will of all the office workers — who needs realism in such a charming fantasy, anyway!
       Sixteen stars on this one, film fans! And bravo, Woody Allen: those Firecrackers and Skyrockets went off for us at his command! (9/01)

The Day After Tomorrow

        Global warming is a reality. No argument there. Whether, however, it's logical for us to conclude that New York will immediately become a major deep freeze because the Earth is getting warmer . . . ah, that's another question.
        However, in Day After Tomorrow Kirk Russell says it will, and then it does, so in the movie at least, he was right. But if he knew that was going to happen, why did he let his son and his son's high-school friends go there? And why did they choose the New York Public Library to hole up in? Wouldn't a supermarket have been a more satisfactory place to camp? And why does Kirk Russell have to walk from Pennsylvania to New York; are there no snowmobiles handy? And how does that ocean liner get into the streets of New York without crushing a building or else sinking itself? And what happened to the crew? And why was the ocean liner not squished and sunk by the ice, anyway? Ice expands. (Remember what happened to The Challenger in the Arctic? Oops! Sorry. Antarctic) And if all the people froze, why didn't the wolves freeze, too? And would the rich kid and the homeless street person really have gotten to be such buddies on such short notice? And how long had they been living on candy bars when they were rescued? So many questions; so little time. (I'm glad the nameless man saved the Gutenberg Bible, though. That really is priceless.)
        But for a disaster movie, it was swell! (6/04)

The Deep End - *****

     This dazzlingly suspenseful film has no shoot-outs, no acrobatics, no plots to destroy the world. What it has is turn after unbearable turn of the vise, in combination with an emotional impact so broad and so wide that it leaves you breathless! Granted the initial premise, the story unfolds with relentless inevitability, even though no next-step is predictable. Yet it is, in part and in whole, entirely character-driven. Don't bother reading the names of the cast beforehand, you probably won't recognize any of them. But you'll want to watch the credits roll through to the very end, because those names will be in lights again soon. Do see this one! (9/30/01)