More research published on The Mozart Effect
You have heard
of the "Mozart Effect" — in which you play nothing but Mozart's
music for your young child, and he or she becomes highly intelligent and
creative?Ah, but, have you heard of the... - BRUCKNER EFFECT:
Child speaks very slowly and repeats himself frequently. Gains
reputation for profundity.
- WAGNER EFFECT: Child becomes a
megalomaniac. May eventually marry his sister.
- MAHLER EFFECT:
Child continually screams - at great length and volume - that he's
dying.
- SCHOENBERG EFFECT: Child never repeats a word until he's used
all the other words in his vocabulary. Sometimes talks backwards.
Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child blames them for their
inability to understand him.
- BABBITT EFFECT: Child gibbers nonsense
all the time. Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child doesn't
care because all his playmates think he's cool.
- IVES EFFECT: the
child develops a remarkable ability to carry on several separate
conversations at once.
- GLASS EFFECT: the child tends to repeat
himself over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
over and over and over and over and over and over again.
- STRAVINSKY
EFFECT: the child is prone to savage, guttural and profane outbursts
that often lead to fighting and pandemonium in the
preschool.
BRAHMS EFFECT: the child is able to speak beautifully as long as his
sentences contain a multiple of three words (3, 6, 9, 12, etc).
However, his sentences containing 4 or 8 words are strangely
uninspired.
- And then of course, there's . . . THE CAGE
EFFECT: Child says nothing at all for four minutes. This effect is
preferred by nine out of ten of the classroom teachers interviewed.
Bonus Joke from Roz
Man climbs to the top of a
mountain to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord. . .
"God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A
minute."
Man asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to
you?"
The Lord replies, "A penny."
Man says: " Can I have a
penny?"
The Lord says, "In a minute."
Okay, that's it unless you want . . .A whole bunch MORE Jokes
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