IDLE THOUGHTS OF A SIMPLE MIND
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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it.
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I had amnesia once — or twice.
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I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
Now what?
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Protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were Catholic.
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All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
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If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
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What's this about a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
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They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.
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Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up,
he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
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Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
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Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
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What if there were no hypothetical questions?
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One nice thing about egotists:
They don't talk about other people.
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When the only tool you own is a hammer,
every problem begins to look llike a nail.
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A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
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What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? Hmmmm?
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My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
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I used to be indecisive.
Now I'm not sure.
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The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
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How can there be self-help "groups"?
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Is there another word for synonym?
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Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
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The speed of time is one-second per second.
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
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What's another word for thesaurus?
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Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
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Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground,
and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
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It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
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Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
Okay, that's it unless you want . . .A whole bunch MORE Jokes
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