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The questions below about Australia, are from potential
visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the
answers are the actual responses by the website officials.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never
seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit
around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk fr! om Perth to Sydney - can I follow
the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles. Take lots of
water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia?
(Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can
you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey
Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing
in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south
of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific
which does not..
oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross.
Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when
you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
(USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering
Ger-man-y, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every
Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races.
Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk
available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan
hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
(USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
Okay, that's it unless you want . . .
A whole bunch MORE Jokes
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